Lets forget that i took a three month long break from voxing it up, or that this three months actually seemed more like a mini millenium, whatever. Point is; I'm back. I like to do that, take long unscheduled breaks from blogging in one place and moving entirely to another site which i will no doubt get bored with usually sooner than later, in this case it was the all mighty tumblr, eh idk. School is kind of kicking my ass this quarter, i figure it had to start kicking ass at some point because otherwise, what the point of it all be? I'm struggling with getting my ducks in a row...or is it better to say that i'm perfecting the art of procrastinatination? Sometimes it seems that just as everything is going along as i'd like, that's when the unexpected happens and i fall off the metaphorical wagon back into the gutter, but it's nice down here..not so many pretenious fucks :) Ah, but life is treating me well, the things i could hardly envision ever getting off the ground are hovering, decisions that seemed to be 700 million light years away are within' my reach and i'm feeling really positive, CRAZY I KNOW.

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Someone please clarify for me why it is that getting into a school has to be so fucking hard?
how come i can't just go to a school's website with interest in their BSN program without literally getting the fucking run around via the internet? secondly. I am well aware of the fact that pretty much everyone (and their mama) wants to go into nursing these days ( i mean, i can't blame ya) but what's the reasoning behind making it so damn fucking difficult, what ever happened to being able to request an application packet and that being that. What if you're interested in a school that isn't neccessarly in your neck of the woods and in order to get the real dish on the program they want you to go there and hobnob with them, how UNREALISTIC is that, seriously. I guess i simply have a really hard time believing that you have that many potentially qualified candidates that you don't have the time to send information via SNAIL MAIL. eh, i'm feeling uber exhausted and all i wanted to do was stick people with incredibly sharp and pointing objects and rip parasites from thier bodies for a living ~ was i asking too much?(it's okay to be utterly disgusted at this point in time)

I'm not going to be deterred by this. I'm really trying to consider my options and make a decision that'll fit both me and my daughter for when i graduate. Do i want to go back to bumfuckboonies?(not that it wouldn't be incredibly fucking nice to be back HOME) or do i want to try and make it on my own in this huge and incredibly expensive community on the starting wages of a newly certified C.M.A? and what's ultimately best for everyone involved? I hate to admit that as much as i want to hold onto my dream of transferring from Heald to another two year school for my BSN and eventually R.N is going to work out if i don't have a guranteed place of residence where i feel like i'll be able to continue to hold up my end of the rental agreement 100% knowing that certain people are counting down the days until "i'm out of pocket" not that i can blame them entirely but i must admit it isn't completly encouraging.

so this is what sitting between a rock and a hard place feels like.
i'm going to imurse myself between the pages of some filthy novel...

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I wanted to laugh but all i was capable of doing was to cry, to roll my fucking eyes and get pissed off at the arrogant, IGNORANT minded fucks of America who willingly attend this service on the sabbath and hear the GOOD NEWS, hear the GOSPEL being twisted in such a blatant and disgusting manner. I'm pissed off that a Black man, has this shallow point of view regarding another black man running for presidency,has such a wayward point of view to his own people, to the culture from which he sprang to creation he now spits on. It's a damn shame and i don't care who out there knows how peeved i am at sitting through this shit, LAWD have mercy. However in today's society such a narrow-minded individual could speak to masses and actually get them to listen to his UNCLE CRACKER Bullshit, lawd, have MERCY.

Black people have no honor

OH GOOD LAWD; no he dinna! this assbackwards way of thinking is THE EXACT REASON WE NEED CHANGE, not just in the African American community, not just in the fact that out right HACKS such as this fool right here even have the oppurtinity to be heard. But this is AMERICA and on that basis alone can i have the respect for an individual to speak his mind to the masses of ignorant sheep who're willing to listen. The good news says that those who listen to any other gospel than the one given by god, is a false gospel, is not the REAL GOOD NEWS, but the twisted facts, an illigitment truth in which it may look like the path to heaven, in which at times it  may even sound like the path to the lord but that in the end, it's just bullshit with really nice clothes on.  WE NEED CHANGE, we need to move forward not back in time to the days of Jim Crowe, to the days of segregation in our schools. Yes, I do believe we need to bring up our minorities, we need to give them the big ups for all the shit they've been through and who continue to work TWICE AS HARD TO BE (considered) HALF AS GOOD. We need change on the political wind, in the spiritual word and in the kidness and giving hearts we show our nieghbors. this is the damn shame i've been talking about.

Amanda Diva - Webisode Ep:3

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Big up's to my girl AmandaDiva.blogspot.com who posted her video originally for me to watch and react to. If you haven't heard of this chick, straight up you're kidding yourself son., get on itunes - cop the shit. Tune in, and feel what's going on, can you dig it?

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Although it's obvious that this is a joke on the President, it none the less rings true of much of what has happened during George Bush's reign in the White House. It gives a political humours look at what has happened, what is happening and what needs to be stopped IMMEDIATLY so. The actual state of the union address that President George W. Bush gave on January 27, 2008 seems to still be in the buisness of spreading lies about the war, about the current state of our nation, about the producivity and sucessful state of the Bush Administration over the past four years. He speaks as if he is not one of it not the worst president that America has had in several years, far worse even than the Clinton Scandal of the 90's. He speaks as if what he has done to this nation is a positive thing, a move forward instead of a landslide backwards. I could hardly watch the entirety of this video without feeling my food churing to come back up. The first posted video is a hoax, but better speaks of the current relations of this country, than the actual Presidents state of the union address and although i laughed, i cried i can't help but agree. If we as Americans can't see that it's time for a change, that it's time for someone to stand up and change the wind, to question the status quo and actually hear the voices of the Americans than there is something terribly wrong.

If you're not informed you're not doing your civic DUTY as an American. I encourage different pov's, i encourage intelligent conversations regarding the current state of this nation, the needs for change and discourse. I encourage the next generation, this generation, MY generation to take it upon themselves to be informed, to care about the issues and get out there and vote on Febuary 5, 2008 (if you live in California - if not then the Primary Elections for wherever you live.) I don't care if you don't vote for Barack Obama (which obviously i am behind 100%) I just want the people to stop bitching about what needs fixed and get out there and get it fixed.

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R.I.P

Heathcliff Andrew Ledger (April 4, 1979 – January 22, 2008)

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If he wasn't dead already, i'd kill him for this one.

I know that in the online world of bloggers this is the hottest topic on everyone's fingertips this evening. It's a shock, no doubt completly out of left field. I wouldn't be so shocked if it was Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan or one of the several other "debutants" of the silver screen who can't keep thier names out of the press, but this one really bugs me. Much like the way i felt when i heard the news of Aaliayah and Left Eye's passing, one of the things you simply don't expect.

I heard early reports that he was found in one of the Olsen twin's apartment in SoHo but that, mere allegation? dare i say seems to have been removed from the internet as of now. It's been said that this was his own apartment and there is no more mention of an Olsen twin anywhere to be found (although it wouldn't shock me much). I worry about his ex fiance Michelle Williams and the fact that i'm sure the press is pressuring her for a statement, but in the long haul i worry about his young daughter Matilda, it's a shame for any child to grow up in the absence of a parent. Hearing that he and Michelle broke off thier engagement in the fall bothers me slightly into thinking that this was perhaps a suicide but i hope that when the dust settles it is anything but. As someone else on Livejournal said "enough fucking Heath Ledger posts, " but i couldn't help myself. farelong, so well<3

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Someone's writing a biography of your life (to date).  What is the best/worst chapter of the book? 
Submitted by Ross.

To date the best chapter of my life would most definetly be having my daughter and becoming a mother. Because though in becoming a young single mother, even in the struggles that it brought me i grew so much from this expierence and from everything that it has taught me so far & what it still has to teach me. Not just about raising a child but about myself and where i fit into this world, i learned so much about myself through her. The worst part of my life would be the years of 2005-2006, i'll most commonly refer to this as the dark ages, mainly because this was the darkest age of my life. I found it nearly impossible to climb out of the pit and put my feet back on solid ground, i was tumbling through the darkness in search of something i left behind in the light. Those people, those expierences, those lost "friendships" were what it took to get out of that, to get over it. I had to realize for myself that sometimes not all friends are worth all the bullshit and frankly "the only people you need in your life are the people who need you in thiers" if i'm expendable to you, the door swings both ways buddy ;)

Side Note: I hate math! I feel like a retard because i keep thinking it's monday (usually my classes start on a fucking monday - not tuesday) I went to the wrong fucking english class when i had the hour to meander and bullshit in the lounge, i almost went to another wrong class because the instructors changed rooms last minute & i keep fucking thinking it's monday. sure as fuck feels like a monday to me. I'm mean muggin dumb bitches with thier stupid little "cliques" i wanna beat down my pharmachology instructor for giving me a C, although - whatever i'll deal. oh & cute boy from last quarter? he's no longer fun to look at. The mysteriousness has vanished now that i see he's a two-bit hack. I can't wait to go home and take a nap, how granny-ish of me.

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My latest addiction is this upbeat techno "dance hall" music. I used to be the one who said she couldn't stand techno rave music because they never said anything real, i will now rescind this comment. i'm hooked like a junkie on the needle. There is another song out there that i'm totaly gay for called Fer Sure by The Medic Droid. I think i've officially listened to this jam some 2345475678 gazillion times and it's all because of Carlos, heh. I appreciate new beats to jam to in the am waiting on my commute bus. I haven't posted because there hasn't been anything to post, but i'll be back shortly. My life is about to go from zero to 200+ overnight as i go back to school in the morning. i also got a new digital camera - the exact thing my blogs have been missing for so long.  until next time my fair bloggers & blogettes.

The Medic Droid- Fer Sure

if you don't listen to this jam you're square. <3

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This story really rattles my inner workings that something like this can still happen and the people surrounding them could be so oblivious to what is going on. No matter what the mantra of the changing times seems to be, we are our brothers keeper. It's our job to keep an open eye to the children and people in our communities, schools & especially social offices. I don't believe it's a matter of what's going to happen to the individuals who responded in an ill manner to the concerns of the one person who called but rather what can be done in the future to stop such tragedies from ever taking place. I pray that these girls are in a better place now & that thier mother recieves the help that she needs and not just punishment because of her ill mental state.

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I'm in love with this new show. I love the whole entire mantra of the powerful new woman. down with sterotypes & up with new courageous and strong women. I know that it's pretty much just a spin-off of sex in the city but for some reason i think that this show is even better than that. It could be because i never really connected with any of the women's characters on the sex in the city, but one of the biggest things here is that these women are real women ( or at least they play one on TV), they're married, have kids & still kick ass in the real world. Then of course it could just be due to the fact that one of the main characters is Lucy Liu, who i believe is amazing ;)

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In closing: Due to the fact that my other blog is on it's last leg i decided to go back to my first ever blog site blurty and re-create my public blog for the masses. This one is public but i most likely won't be posting too much of my online anonymous stuff here, this is more a place to post the things i find interesting and rant about things that are hardly if at all connected with my real life. However, I can't gurantee that i'll still like blurty at all but i'm going to give it a shot, i'll post the perma-link to whatever site i decide to base it at as soon as i've made a final decision.

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